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Monday, December 17, 2012

MENCARI HIKMAH PADA SESUATU

*jgn judge entry ini melalui bhasa yg digunakan:)

Asssalamualaikum..alhamdulillah...satu entry yg julung kali bleh buat sbgai chem engi student kt jepun ni. Hari2 kene fkir itu dan ini..buat kadai itu dan ini..kadang2 smpai menyampah sbb kene buat note pnjg2 dlm clas, non stop tgn bergerak mcm machine typewriter dari mula 8.45 pagi  kelas smpai 4.35 petang. hari2 kitaran yg yg sme buat otak pening..kadang2 balik dr kelas, hempap badan ats katil, otak blank! haishhh..trok kann? seriously student course lain mmg xde habat sgt mcm budak chem engi punye course..n smpai stu tahap rse nak tukar course pon ade..sbb bdk2 course lain, assignment xbelambak, lab report x bykkk..

And mggu lepas jgk i guess mggu yg haru biru sket dlm catatan sejarah kehidupan aku kt kosen nih...Firstly, tutor Japanese kesayangan aku, yg dok handle aku dari awl aku smpai kolej ni ttbe pindah pd hari yg x aku jangkakan..Hari tu dye pindah, hari tu jugak dye bgtaw aku dye nk pindah! mane x gelisah aku????? yelah, lps ni kalo xde tutor dh kene p skolah sorg2, xde org nk tggu depan pintu asrama lagi n jalan sme2..pastu, kalo ade assignment yg nihongo nye ntah pape yg aku xpham, dh tu nk tnye kt sape lagi kalo bkn tutor kan?? pastu, mmg hubungan aku n tutor sgt rapat pon..and disebabkn tutor aku ni antara student plg cantek kt skolah ni, dgn tidak semena menanya, nama aku pon naek dlm kelas tu.haha! itu bonus okayyy!  even  kt lab pon, budak2 laki kelas kteorg sggup tggu group aku n Masumi hbes, n kalo mggu tu giliran kteorg kene bersihkan lab, budak2 ni akan tlg kteorg skali buat lab cleaning..btw, sape2 group yg buat cleaning adalah group yg plg last sekali hbiskan lab! n yes, group aku n Masumi (nama tutor aku) mmg kerap hbiskan lab lmbt. seriously, kerja2 lab mmg xpernh menyebelahi aku! haishhh... kalo dh msok 5th year nnti xtaw la cmne!! moga Allah mudahkn, insyaAllah.. berbalik kpd kisah tutor aku, alhamdulillah, walaupun dye dh pindah, aku n dye lagi kerap berhubung through messages lately..bahagia btol ade tutor cantek n baek mcm dye..alhamdulillah! walaupun skjap je nikmat Allah kasi, tpi ckup bermkna bagi aku:) walaupu dlu2 aku pernah rse cam tutor aku ni kdg2 mengabaikan kerja2 dye utk aku, sbb busy layan boyfriend dye, tp aku pon kene la memahami kan..dieorg naluri msih 18tahun kan..mmg bese la kalo terlayan sket dgn indahnya cinta ni haaa.. dlm friendship mmg akan ade mse up and down kan,..jd kene la belajar give and take! yeah! berjaya kawal perasaan! actually perasaan xske aku tu bkn pd tutor aku, tp lbih kepada BF dye..hehe!

and secondly, dlm mggu yg sme gak last week, classmate aku meninggal dunia:( yg ni part pling aku trauma skali kt cni dlm tahun ni..kwn meninggal sbb jisatsu..seriously, i mcm susah sgt nk caye, akan ade antara classmate aku yg akan bunuh diri.. yelah, bayangkn, ini FIRST year aku smpai kt cnie. and x smpai setahun tup2 ade clasmate sendiri meninggal. pastu bdk laki ni mmg pernah ajar aku buat excel sume dlm kelas komputer sume..mmg aku ni noob sket bhagian computer.hehe.! excel je la yg noob! tp, mmg seriously sdeh kot... insyaAllah, esok akan pergi utk majlis berkabung kt rmh dye..huhuhu..macam2 bnde plak aku experience dlm tempoh setahun ni.. mcm2 perkara yg berlaku di luar jangkaan..tp satu la kan yg kesal...sbb slh satu sbb dye bunuh diri tu, sbb  dye xtahu asal tujuan dye kene hidup kt dunia nih..:( ya Allah... only if the know.yg sebenarnya, dunia ni kalo kte ade pegangan agama, yg menjdi sumber kekuatan kita cuma satu je, Allah.. i repeat, ALLAH.. down mcm mne sekalipun, kalo btol pegangan kte tu teguh, mcm mane pon tinggi n kuat pon badai yg melanda hidup kita nih, xperlu kita mencari yg jauh, sbb Allah tu dekat..ingt, kembali smula pd Allah...

tp nak dikatakan Allah ni Maha Pemurah, Maha Pengasih, Maha Mengetahui, DIA lah Maha segala-galanya, dlm perkara2 yg Allah hilangkn utk aku dlm hidup aku, Allah gantikan dgn byk benda baru smpaikan aku rse mcm, Subhanallah! Allah is great! yes, Allah is fulfilling my wishes! alhamdulillaH..seriously, Allah Maha Pemurah..Dia mmberi sesuatu tepat pd waktunya..bkn pd waktu yg kita nak, tp pd waktu kita memerlukan... dan tidak pula Allah menghilangkn sesuatu daripada kita, melainkan Dia ingin menggantikan sesuatu yg lebih baik utk kita..ALLAH tu Maha sweet taw!:) 

mulanya dgn kehilangan tutor aku kan.lps tutor pindah last time, agak tunggang langgang gak keje aku,.report x siap. sensei mula la dok cari aku, tnye aku knape x hntr report sume..actually, nk je bgtaw sensei, otak aku msih trauma..sbb classmate aku meninggal..and dgn ttbe nye tutor aku pindah tanpa aku set mind aku dlu yg dye kene pindah ttbe.. tp ape yg aku cuma mmpu ckp kt sensei mse tu was that " ini smua slh sy sensei. sy mintak maaf. sy akan hantar2 report2 yg tertangguh secepat mgkin". yess! itu sahaja yg aku mmpu jwb. seriously laju je perkataan tu klua dr mulut aku.. sbb aku tahu kalo sekalipun aku bgtaw alasan2 yg mmg nmpk mcm x muhasabah di mata sensei tu, akan menjdikan aku sbgai seorg yg suke nk memberi alasan..jd at last, aku jwb tuh je..mgkin shj ayat tu Allah yg aturkan utk aku..sbb ape? sbb lps sensei jmpe aku lps klas tu, aku klua dr kelas, n mmg mse aku ckp dgn sensei tu air mata aku ni dh bertakung dh, tggal mse nk klua je mse tuh..tp aku tahan je dpan sensei..mse aku klua dr clas tu together dgn sensei yg tegur aku tu, aku cuma fkir nk pegi tandas je mse tu. sbb airmata aku ni mmg dh xleh ditahan lagi dah. and mse aku otw nk p tandas tu sensei jalan mengiringi belakang aku since dye pon nk meninggalkan kelas kami tu kan..ttbe sensei tu paggil aku, dgn muke penuh pengharapan dan semangat, dye ckp, " Afiqah san, GAMBARIMASU!" aku dgn airmata yg stil bertakung tu, cume mmpu ckp "HAI!" n aku tros melangkah laju ke tandas, dan laju je airmata aku ni kluar..seriously, hati aku ni mm fragile sket. n disbbkn aku taw, kalo aku menngis, aku bole cool down sket lps tu, aku pon nanges la smpai hati aku ni puas..mmg seriously, mggu lepas adalah mggu down sgt bgi aku...salji trun pon aku buat xkisah..otak aku selalu melayang nk p tukar course, p tukar skolah, xnk dudok cnie lagi..with the whole system di jepun, yg membuatkan aku jd robot dlm sekelip mata..dgn sensei yg mendambakan perfection..

tp sebenarnya tidak smua begitu kan..aku percaya ini smuanya aturan ALLAH..ALLAH nk kasi hambanya kuat, dlm medium n ape cara sekalipun dye akn guna..walaupun pd mulanya hambaNya akan rse sperti dikhianati, disakiti, tp Allah jualah yg Maha Mengetahui..belajar mencari hikmah..bkn hanya mencari salah pd sesuatu keburukan yg menimpa kita..itu yg aku belajar and muhasabah balik! dlm permasalahan kte, kte xbleh lari daripada menghadapinya..jgn lari daripada masalah, tetapi belajar menghadapinya! seriously, mse aku menghadapi saat down ni, sbb mggu lps aku kan dh xde tutor kan, jd aku balik kelas sorg2 la..sbb dlm clas aku, aku sorg je pompuan yg tggal kt hostel..mse aku jln sorg2 tu, aku selalu ckp sorg diri..haaa.... ni bkn sbb aku dh gila ke ape..tp sbb aku rse ble aku ckp sorg, aku sebut nama Allah byk kali, aku rse mcm Allah btol2 berckp dgn aku..seolah2 menemani aku dlm perjalanan aku ke kelas tu..aku luah perasaan kt Allah mse tu jugakk..inilah yg best jd seorg Islam, seorg muslim seorg mukmin kan..sbb ape, awk xperlu nk cari jauh2 teman utk bercerita, awk bleh je bisik dlm hati awk, xpun awk luahkan je..Allah Maha Mendengar..Maha Mengetahui ape yg tersirat di hati, tanpa perlu dilafazkan..kalo nk dilafazkan sekalipun, biat yg pertama mendengarnya adalah Allah! jgn ketepikan ALLAH dlm masalah kamu..jdikan DIA PENASIHAT terAgung dlm dirimu..jdikan DIA penDENGAR SETIA setiap luahan kita..wlaupun aku taw, rmai je antara kita yg mengadu kt kwn2 rapat gak kan..termsok la aku..tp kte xleh slh anggap kt kwn2 kte yg mengadu kt kwn2 kalo dye ade mslh..mgkin shj dye dh byk mengadu pd Allah kan..cumanya dye memerlukan bende tu utk diluah pd seseorg je..somenone yg dye boleh percayai..bagi aku, xslh..as long as kte msih meletakkan Allah pd TEMPAT yg sepatutnya dlm HATI kita..bahkan yg TERTINGGI dlm hati kita...

ble Allah hilangkan aku tutor kesayangan aku, ALLAH bagi aku tutor yg plg bijak dlm kelas aku..tutor aku yg baru ni, walaupun dye lelaki aku senang gak bekerja dgn dye. dye ajar aku cmne nk berdikari buat report sndiri,assignment sendiri..dye yg bagi aku sedar, aku kene belajar bahasa dieorg! dye tahu, in fact satu kelas tahu, aku mmg msih terikat dgn pembelajaran dlm english. sbb mmg aku xleh nk trime bhase dieorg lagi! skrg aku dh belajar menerima.and aku msih belajar lagi..byk bnde yg aku kene improve..ble aku fkir2 balik, xyah la nk mengada2 dgn english aku..sbb xleh gune pon kt cnie..dh alang2 smpai cni, belajar hbis bahase dieorg, .yep, mmg bkn suatu yg mudah bgi beginner mcm aku..nak2 lagi aku amek chem engi kt cnie. sume bnde byk menguji kekuatan daya ingatan.bygknlah, kte belajar chemistry kt skolah gune BI pon kdg2 susah nk pham kan..apetah lagi kalo dlm kanji, kalo xpham kanji, dh xleh bce dah..kalo xleh bce, mcm mane nk paham???!! kan? kt cnie la kesabaran aku mmg sgt diuji mse nk stdy. kejap2 bukak dictionary electronic aku .pastu hafal kanji plak..pastu kene hafal fact chemistry..nk memahami fact tu satu lagi hal kan?haishh..byk bende kan?? mmg mendou kan..tp nk buat cmne..aku yakin ble mula2 susah aku kene belajar gni, aku tahu Allah menyimpan hari2 senang bagi ku, yg msih dlm rangka rahsia dan suprise dariNya buatku...SABAR!!! .bermula mggu ni aku rse semangat aku kembali pulih! alhamdulillah! 

and hikmah dripada perpindahan tutor aku tu, aku merasakan, yg classmates aku byk yg dh berani mendekati aku..kalo dlu2 nye, mse tutor aku ade, aku asyik berkepit je dgn tutor aku.jd budak2 kelas aku jarang la ade pluang nk borak2 dgn aku except for kalo ade kelas Pendidikan Jasmani je..ble tutor aku xde ni, mgkin classmate aku rse, aku dh hilang seseorg yg rapat dgn aku, n dieorg merasakan aku mmerlukan sokongan, jd dieorg tend to tegur aku selalu..ble aku mntak ajar je, dieorg semangat gler nk ajar kan..ble aku msok kelas, aku rse cam xtakut lagi dh skrg:) alhamdulillah! that was the best part i think! sbb selama ni aku selalu berdoa pd Allah agar Allah lembutkan hati classmates aku supaya tidak takut utk mendekati aku..selalu aku berdoa..krn sebelumnya, walaupun aku rapat sekalipun dgn tutor aku, tp xsemestinya setiap waktu tutor aku tu akan ade dgn aku utk support aku kan..at last btol gak sangkaan aku..ble ttbe tutor aku amek kputusan mendadak nk pindah..jd bagaimana caranya Allah nk bgi budak2 ni medekati aku adalah dgn menghilangkan tutor aku dr sisi aku..dctue Allah menampakkan hikmah disebalik pinjaman yg Dia dh trik balik dr aku.seriously, Allah Maha Pemurah:')..now,i  feel like crying...terharu pd Allah..

*dulu2 selalu ingt bdk2 ni takut dgn aku sbb aku ni mcm terrorist ke ape...haishhh..

Alhamdulillah, skrg ingin kembali kuat! ingatlah bahawasanya Allah menurunkan sesuatu ujian buat hambanya bkn bertujuan utk melemahkan hambanya tp MENGUATKAN lagi hambaNya itu..bergantung pd diri kta, sejauh mana kita mencari hikmah di sebalik segala sesuatu yg menimpa diri kita..dalam Al-Quran ALLAH berfirman, 

"Dan apa sahaja musibah yang menimpa kamu, maka ia adalah disebabkan oleh perbuatan tanganmu sendiri, dan Allah memaafkan banyak (daripada kesalahan-kesalahanmu)."
(Surah Asy-Syuura 42: Ayat 30)

ingatlah, setiap yg berlaku tu disebabkan jua dosa2 kita yg lalu...

dalam AL-QURAN jua byk ayat2 yg Allah dah sediakan sbb nk bgi ubat2 kt hati hambaNya yg ble down2 nih..sweet kan ALLAH?

"Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Ia mendapat pahala (dari kebajikan) yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat seksa (dari kejahatan) yang dikerjakannya."
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2: Ayat 286)

    “Jika Allah menimpakan sesuatu kemudaratan kepadamu, maka tiada yang dapat menghilangkannya melainkan Dia sendiri. Dan jika Dia mendatangkan kebaikan kepadamu, maka Dialah Yang Maha Berkuasa atas segala sesuatu.”
    (Al-An’am: 17)

"(Iaitu) orang-orang yang apabila mereka ditimpa oleh sesuatu kesusahan, mereka berkata: ‘Sesungguhnya Kami adalah kepunyaan Allah dan kepada Allah jualah Kami kembali’."
(Surah Al Baqarah 2: Ayat 156)

"Tiada suatu bencana pun yang menimpa di bumi dan pada dirimu sendiri melainkan telah tertulis dalam kitab (Lauhul Mahfuz) sebelum Kami menciptakannya. Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu adalah mudah bagi Allah."
(Surah Al-Hadid 57: Ayat 22)


“Dan sesungguhnya akan Kami berikan ujian kepadamu dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan. Dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar. Orang-orang yang apabila ditimpa musibah, mereka mengucapkan: "Inna lillaahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji'uun".”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2: Ayat 155-156)


Alhamdulillah, insyaAllah..smpai dicnie sahaja...alang2 dh update jd terlbih pnjng plak:") moga ada ibrah yg blh diambil.:)

ingtlah, ble kte down ke ape, segala ape yg tlh kte pelajari dalam medan tarbiyyah harus digunakan dgn sebaek mungkin..aku percaya ini semua tarbiyyah dr Allah...

msih belajar utk meniti hari2 yg mendatang insyaAllah...

insan yg berkata, pasti akan diuji dgn kata2nya..moga saat diuji, Allah bgi kekuatan utk menhadapinya...

dan insan yg berkata tidak semstinya yg pling smpurna dlm perkataannya, namun dia belajar utk mempertahankan apa yg telah dismpaikan nya..moga Allah jadikan kita istiqamah,insyaALLAH!

p/s: sy rse terharu sgt2 kpd senior2 sy kt Jepun ni..shbt2 yg sntiasa menemani saat susah dan senang..Allah sahaja yg mmpu membalas jasa kalian...moga Allah kurniakan Jannah bagi kita smua...Ameen:)


kt bwah2 ni disertakan video2 yg kasi up sket semangat beberapa hari ini:

lets check it out!

The People of the Cave by Nouman Ali Khan




Jangan Menitiskan Air Mata Kerana Video ini - Ust. Asri


Gaza Apa Cerita??



Pendekatan dakwah - Aiman Azlan

sekian, waalahualam:) assalamualaikum wbt!:)

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

TANGGUNGJAWAB KEPADA CINTA:)

Assalamualaikum..sekadar luahan pendek dari ana..sblom ana tidak mampu meluahkannya...

Tanggungjwb dakwah ini akan ku tukar kpd sebuah kehidupan yg sebati dalam jiwaku..yg akn mejdi darah daging ku, yg mengalir tenang dlm diriku. 

kini aku bukan memegang nya kerana sebuah tanggungjwb, tp kerana aku MENCINTAINYA...




moga hati terus kuat dlm melayari kehidupan bernilai sebuah perjuangan utk Ummah! insyaAllah..AMIN YA RABBAL ALAMIN...



Thursday, November 8, 2012

PERANG DALAM JIWA INI

assalamualaikum...

rsenye sudah lame tidak terluah ape yg perlu diluahkn...rsenye seperti sudah lama nilai muhasabah diri tidak dikongsi bersma...mgkin shaja hati ini futur..mgkin shaja nilai tarbiyyah dalam diri mula berkurang tanpa sedar..Naudzubillah...takutnya bila hati ini dibayangi rasa seperti itu..

alhamdulillah, hari ini dah msok 7 bulan 6 hari kteorg berada di bumi Jepun. dan aku jua kerap kali bertanya apakah nilai tarbiyyah dalam diriku semakin bertambah? ataukah bersifat constant..? atau berkurang?? dan sejujurnya aku pernah merasakan nilai tarbiyyah dalam diriku hanya bersifat constant apabila aku menetap di bumi Jepun.seblom fly ke cnie dahulu, bkn maen excited ble senior2 sering mengembar-gemburkan bahawa, dh smpai kt luar negara nnti, tarbiyyah nya pasti lebih hebat lagi, pasti lebih mencabar..dan sudah pastinya aku yg mendengar dan jua menghadam kata2 senior2 yg pernah belajar di luar negara, yg pernah mendalami, menghayati jua merasa nikmat tarbiyyah di negara org, merasakan hal ini adalah sesuatu yg sgt menyeronokkan utk diselami dan diharungi bersma2 shabat2 di Jepun nnti.

Tapi bila smpai di cnie, aku merasakan semua yg diperkatakan oleh senior2ku di Malaysia hanya bisikan dan angan2 belaka..di mana pergi seronoknya nilai tarbiyyah itu? di mana pergi kata2 mereka mengatakan jalan tarbiyyah itu smakin bisa mematangkan diri? yaa, dan sejujurnya persoalan2 seperti itu pernah menerjah benak pemikiran ku apabila aku smpai dcnie..Justeru, di mana SILAPNYA??????

Sudah pastinya kesilapan itu bukan berpunca dari pentarbiyyahan itu sendiri, tetapi kesilapan DIRIKU sendiri...Allah Subhanahu wa Ta‟ala berfirman:

"Dan apa saja musibah yang menimpa kamu maka adalah disebabkan oleh perbuatan 
tanganmu sendiri, dan Allah memaafkan sebagian besar (dari kesalahan-kesalahanmu).” 
(QS. As-Syura: 30)

dan persoalan2 yg pernah menerjah msok ke dalam benak fikiran ku itu, ku rasakan seperti suatu musibah besar yg melanda diriku ini. mana tidaknya, dahulu smasa berada di pusat persediaan ku di INTEC, dunia tarbiyyah terasa begitu indah sekali. Persekitaran dan suasana di INTEC dahulu, ckup memberi kesan kepada dunia tarbiyyah ku. Orang2 di sekelilingku pada waktu itu smuanya seolah2 memberi suatu anjakan paradigma yg benar2 besar dlm kehidupanku. Setiap apa yg aku pelajari, dan aku lalui, ku anggap smuanya sebagai tarbiyyah utk diri.

Tetapi sebaliknya apabila aku berada di sini. aku sering merasakn jalanku semakin kabur. Dan akulah punca yg menjdikan jalan ini semakin tidak jelas bagiku.Sering merasakn yg itu kurang dan yg ini kurang. Tidak seperti di Malaysia, jalan tarbiyyah itu sgt luas..tiap2 hari bole pergi masjid dgr ceramah, pengisian secara direct dr alim ulama dan sebagainya. tetapi tidak di sini. Semuanya kene cari sendiri. lantak hang, nk p ke x.. yg sibuk dgn assigment laen cter, yg sibuk nk p klua shopping atau melancong sne sni plak laen cter.kalo x kuat, hanyut laaa...dan aku mulai merasakn utk membeza2 tarbiyyah yg aku perolehi di Malaysia dan di Jepun. Semuanya seperti berbeza belaka...

Tetapi smua ini berubah apabila aku mula utk belajar dan menerima...Dahulunya, aku heran kenapa Allah letak aku dlm satu tmpt kt Akita, yg org disekeliling2 nya sgt berbeza dgn org2 yg pernah aku jmpe di INTEC dahulu. xdela nk ckp org2 kt Akita ni x elok, cumanya mereka berbeza sedikit daripada org2 yg pernah aku jmpe di INTEC dahulu. kalo kt INTEC dlu, sejuk mata memandang org2 di sekeliling. yg perempuannya elok shaja berpakaian..yg lelaki tidak kurang hebat nya. msing2 punya kelbihan masing2 dek kerana tarbiyyah di INTEC itu ckup basah dan menyerap...tp jgn misunderstood dluuuuuuuuuuuuuu!! org2 yg ana jmpe di Akita ni, perempuan nye elok je berpakaian cumanya, ana ni mengharapkan yg lebih2 plakk..(ni sbb ana dlu xbelajar utk menerima dan memahami keadaan di sini). tp bila ana fikir2 balik, adil ke ana nk judge org mcm tu je???!!! sbb tue org ckp dont judge a book by its cover..contohnya, org selalu ingat wanita yg pkai tdung labuh tu, kalo silap sket, org mula nk ckp itu dan ini..padahal dieorg manusia biase je, knape bila dieorg buat salah, org mula nk pertikaikan soal tdung dan sebagainya, padahal dye bkn MALAIKAT..dye hnya manusia biasa. yg kadang2 khilaf.. yg bisa berbuat slh jua...mcm tu jugak kalo kte tgok mereka yg belum kenal dunia tarbiyyah..kita yg dah tahu ni, kene tunjukkan betul2 pada mereka, ketinggian nilai tarbiyyah itu apabila ia mula menjdi darah daging yg mengalir dlm badan kita...bknnye nk judge org tu tros, seolah2 dye xbole msok syurga.kan??? kalo dh kte anggap dieorg seolah2 xbole nk msok syurga, dh tu kte tu baek sgt ke smpai bole2 je fikir diri ni confirm2 msok syurga kan??? oh ya, mgkin ayat yg digunakan agak berbaur kasar, namun itu adalah sebagai penekanan shj..tidak berniat utk menyinggung dan sbagainya..

berbalik smula kepada cerita, bila ana fkir2 balik, wajar ke ana nk persoalkan kenape ana diletakkan dalam kalangan mereka...INI BENAR KE UJIAN DARI ALLAH??? utk menguji sejauh mana keikhlasan aku utk mentarbiyyah dan ditarbiyyah..kalo dlu, ana gemar bekerja dalam gerak kerja tarbiyyah kerana dorongan dari org2 di sekeliling ana yg ckup bersemangat!! tp ble ana kt cnie knape blh jd lemah ? sbb org2 di sekeliling yg x mendorong semangat tuh????!! ohhh noooo,,,, kalo ana asyik berpegang kepada kalo ade org nk dorong ana, bru nk kerja kuat dlm gerak kerja dakwah ni, smpai bila2 ana xkan bergerak.. xgtuee???! byk yg ana muhasabah balikkkk..terlalu byk alasan..alasan yg tidak muhasabah bukan? xbersyukur dgn UJIAN yg Allah bagi menyebabkan kita jadi manusia yg KALAH, mengalah terlalu mudah..

Smpaikn satu tahap, ana belek gmbr2 shbt2 ana yg dahulunya ckup laen sekali dgn ape yg ana lihat skrg,ana rse ckup cemburu. ade shbt2 ana di jordan, di India, etc, ckup komited dgn gerak kerja tarbiyyah. padahal mereka mengenali dunia tarbiyyah ini baru sebentar shj, namun sudah meresapi jiwa mereka..and how about me????!!! dh smpai kt Jepun, jd lemah plak??? ALLAH, ALLAH, ALLAH...





"Do not look to those above you. Look to those below you, as it will more likely remind you of Allah's favors bestowed on you." 
[Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

dan pernah ana tersentuh dgn slh seorg kata2 akhawat dcnie, " u've inspired me to change. sy nk sgt jd mcm awk"...dan as soon as ana tahu psl tue, ana try recall balik ape yg pernah ana andai2kan pd mereka dahulu. Orang yg pernah ana rasekan ana pernah merasa lemah utk mentarbiyyah mereka, ana rse ckup kesal dgn ape yg ana rasa pada mereka...kejamnye apabila memikirkan ana pernah merasa begitu pada mereka, tp dgn kata2 "u've inspired me to change"..ana ckupppppp terkesima..jantung, hati smua rase jatuh serentak..andai dia tahu ana pernah rse lemah utk mentarbiyyah mereka dahulu, smpaikan satu tahap, ana rse ingin berehat dari dunia tarbiyyah, andai dia tahu smua ini,adakah kata2 itu akan kluar dari mulut nya???! ALLAH...ALLAH..ALLAH...ampuni dosa-dosaku ya Allah....aku adalah hambaMu yg paling lemah....:'(


"Belum pernah saya berurusan dengan sesuatu yang lebih sulit daripada jiwa saya sendiri, yang kadang-kadang membantu saya dan kadang-kadang menentang saya. "



yaaa, dalam dunia tarbiyyah byk mengajarku utk berperang dgn bermcm2 perasaan yg bagaikan tsunami dalam jiwaku...datangnya secara tiba2..kdang2 blh jdi tsunami besar, kdg2 datang2nya tsunami kecil..

benarlah, kata2 akak naqibah, dlm kita berjuang ni, kita pasti akan menangis,,kita pasti akan ade rse putus asa...tp gelojak2 jiwa seprti ini yg sebenar2nya mendidik jiwa kita, membina jiwa utk menjdi lebih kental...sekental shbt2 Rasulullah SAW...yg dicampak seorg diri di suatu tmpt utk menjalankan dakwah Rasulullah SAW, namun tetap teguh berjuang dgn azam penuh tabah. dahulu mereka shbt2 Rasulullah SAW dicampak pada suatu2 tmpat dgn hnya berbekalkan ape yg dismpaikan Rasulullah SAW, dgn berpegang yakin pd kalimah LAILAHAILLAH...Xde nye mcm kte skrg..siap dgn naskhah al-quran yg ckup cantek, ade projector ade mcm2 medium yg blh digunakan secara mksimum untuk menyempurnakan sunnah baginda yg terbesar yakni DAKWAH!!!!

MSIH BYK ALASAN LAGI?????????????????????!!!!!

and i always told myself,

~bkn saje2 ALLAH letak ana dalam kondisi org2 nye sgt memerlukan tarbiyyah, kalau bukan krn Allah ingin meguji keimanan jua keikhlasan ana dlm menegakkan agama Allah.
~bukan sje2 ALLAH nk bgi gelojak jiwa itu dtg, jika bkn krn Allah ingin meneguhkan apa yg msih lemah dalam diri..
~bukan sje2 Allah nk bgi kita jalankan tanggungjwb DAKWAH ini, kalau bukan krn ALLAH tahu bahawasanya KITA MAMPU!!!!

ayuh, renung2kan...ini smua berdasarkan ape yg ana rasa...pasti yg membacanya jua, akan menyimpan andaian pd diri sy, namun diri ini akan menerimanya dgn hati yg redha...tarbiyyah dari Allah, blh jd dlm mcm2 cara..

sekadar luahan yg ingin dikongsi bgi mereka yg sedang menyelusuri jalan dakwah ini..



WAALAHUALAM....MOGA ALLAH KURNIAKAN KITA ISTIQAMAH DALAM MELAKUKAN KETAATAN KEPADANYA,AMIIN






The inside me is crying right now. And i hope you're there for me:( i wish.. And i really wish..

Edcoustic- Di Persimpangan Aku Berdiri... This song describes everything:(

Monday, October 29, 2012

Though i cant be a doctor:') or if i were to be a doctor

Dear future doctors out there...
Long time ago, i ever dreamt of becoming a doctor.. But Allah knows better and here i am.. I never regret knowing that i'll become an engineer in the future, insyaAllah..

But still i have my interest in this field. Eventhough i cant feel the real passion of being a doctor, but still i wanna share u guys about this..


Recorded at the Dental Christian Fellowship , on 24 Nov 2011, 8 months after his diagnosis.

Richard would have liked to share this with you. We are doing this to continue his work.

Please have a read and leave it behind for someone else to benefit from his sharing.

If you would like a copy, please let any of his family or close friends know and we will be able to provide both the audio recording as well as the transcript.

Thank you, and may God bless you richly.

Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer, sharing at a Dental Christian Fellowship Meeting. He would have liked to share this with you too.

HIS BACKGROUND

Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse from the chemotherapy, so please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I’m a friend of Danny’s, who invited me here.

I’d just begin to say that I’m a typical product of today’s society. Before this, I was talking about how the media influences us etc. So I’m a typical product of what the media portrays. From young, I’ve always been under the influence and impression that to be happy, is to be successful. And to be successful, is to be wealthy. So I led my life according to this motto.

Coming from a poor average family, back in those days, I was highly competitive, whether in sports, studies, leadership. I wanted it all. I’ve been there, done that. But at the end of the day, it’s still about money.

So in my recent last years, I was a trainee in ophthalmology, but I was getting impatient, cos I had friends of mine who were going out into private practise, making tonnes of money. And there I was, stuck in a traineeship. So I said, ‘Enough, it’s getting too long.’ At that time, there was a surge in protégés of aesthetic medicine. I’m sure you’re aware, aesthetic medicine had peaked over the last few years, and I saw good money in there. So much so that I said, ‘Forget about ophthalmology, I’m gonna do aesthetic medicine.’ So that’s what I did.

The truth is, nobody makes heroes out of the average GP in the neighbourhood. They don't. They make heroes out of rich celebrities, politicians, rich and famous people. So I wanted to be one of these. I dived straight into aesthetic medicine. People were not willing to pay when I was doing locum back in those days. Anything more than $30, they would complain that “Wah, this lo kun (doctor) jing qwee (very expensive)”. They made noise and they were not happy. But the same people were willing to pay $10 000 for a liposuction. So I said, ‘Well, let’s stop healing the sick, I’m gonna become a beautician; a medically-trained beautician.’

And that was what I did – liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgeries, you name it, we do it. It was very good money. My clinic, when we started off, waiting time was 1 week; 1 month; became 2 months; became 3 months. There was so much demand that people were literally queuing up to have aesthetic work done on them. Vain women – easy life!

So the clinic grew. I was so overwhelmed, from 1 doctor, I employed 2, then 3, then 4 doctors, and carried on. Nothing is ever enough. I wanted more and more and more. So much so that we set up shop in Indonesia to lure all the Indonesian tai tai’s. We set up shop, set up a team of people there, to get more Indonesian patients to come in.

So, things were doing well. I’m there, my time has arrived.

Around some time in February last year, I said, ‘OK, I have so much spare cash, it’s time to get my first Ferrari. So there I was, getting ready for the deposit. ‘OK! There comes my first Ferrari!’ I was looking for land, to share with some of my friends. I have a banker friend who makes $5 million a year. So I thought, ‘Come, let’s come together. Let’s buy some land and build our houses.’

I was at my prime, getting ready to enjoy. At the same time, my friend Danny had a revival. They were going back to church, some of my close friends. They told me, ‘Richard, come, join us, come back to church.’

I have been a Christian for 20 years; I was baptised 20 years ago, but it was because it was fashionable to be a Christian then. All my friends were becoming Christians then. It was fashionable! I wanted to be baptised, so that when I filled in a form, I could put there “Christian” – feels good. In truth, I had never had a bible; I don’t know what the bible is all about.

I went to church for a while, after some time, I got tired. I said it’s time to go to NUS, stop going to church. I had a lot more things to pursue in NUS – girls, studies, sports etc. After all, I had achieved all these things without God today, so who needs God? I myself can achieve anything I want.

In my arrogance, I told them, “You know what? You go tell your pastor to change your sermon to 2pm. I will consider coming to church.” Such arrogance! And I said 1 statement in addition to that – till date, I don’t know I’ve regretted saying that – I told Danny and my friends, “If God really wanted me to come back to church, He will give me a sign.”. Lo and behold, 3 weeks later, I was back at church.







THE DIAGNOSIS


In March 2011, out of the blues – I was still running around, ‘cause I’m a gym freak and I always go to the gym training, running, swimming 6 days a week. I had some backache, and that’s all I had, but it was persistent. And so I went for an MRI to exclude prolapsed disc. And the day before I had my scan, I was still in the gym, lifting heavy weights, doing my squats. And the next day, they found that half my spine had bone marrow replacement. I said, “Woah, sorry, what’s that?”

We had a PET scan the next day, and they diagnosed that I had terminal lung cancer, stage 4B. It had spread to the brain, half the spine, whole of my lungs were filled with tumour, liver, adrenals…

I said, “Can’t be, I was just at the gym last night, what’s going on?” I’m sure you know how it feels – though I’m not sure if you know how it feels. One moment I was there at the peak, the next day, this news came and I was totally devastated. My whole world just turned upside down.

I couldn’t accept it. I have a hundred relatives on both sides, my mom and my dad. 100 of them. And not a single one has cancer. To me, in my mind, I have good genes, I’m not supposed to be having this! Some of my relatives are heavy chain smokers. Why am I having lung cancer? I was in denial.






HIS ENCOUNTER WITH GOD


So the next day, I was still in a state of denial, still unable to accept what was going on. There I was lying in an operating theatre in a hospital, for a needle biopsy (for histology). There I was, just completed the biopsy, and lying in the operating theatre. The nurses and doctors had left; told me I had to wait for 15 minutes to do a check X-ray to make sure there’s no pneumothorax (a complication).

And there I was, lying on the operating table, staring blankly at the ceiling in a cold, quiet operating theatre. Suddenly I just heard an inner voice; it was not like coming from outside. It was inside. This small inner voice that I had never felt before. And it said very specifically, it said, “This has to happen to you, at your prime, because it’s the only way you can understand.”

I said, “Woah, why did that come from?” You know, when you speak to yourself, you’d say, “OK, what time should I leave this place? Where shall I have dinner after this?” You’d speak from a first person point of view. You don’t say, “Where should YOU go after this?” Whereas the voice that came spoke as a third party. It said, “This has to happen to YOU, at YOUR prime, because this is the only way YOU can understand.” At that time, my emotions just overflowed and I broke down and cried, alone there. And I knew then, subsequently, what it means to understand that why this is the only way.

Because I had been so proud of myself, my whole life, I needed nobody else. I was gifted with things that I could do, why do I need anybody else? I was just so full of myself that there was no other way I could have turned back to God.

In fact, if I were diagnosed with stage 1 or 2, I would have been looking around busily for the best cardiothoracic surgeon, remove a section of the lobe (do a lobectomy), do preventive chemotherapy…The chances of it being cured is extremely high. Who needs God? But I had stage 4B. No man can help, only God can.

A series of events happened after that. I wasn’t sold after that, because of the inner voice, I became believing, prayers, all that. No I wasn’t. To me, it was just ‘maybe there was a voice; or maybe that was just me talking to myself.’ I didn’t buy the story.

What happened next was that I was being prepared for chemotherapy. I started off with a whole brain radiation therapy first; takes about 2 -3 weeks. In the meantime they prepared me for chemotherapy, supplements etc. One of the things they used for chemo was a thing called Zometa. Zometa - they use it to strengthen the bones; once the bone marrow (replacement) is cured of cancer cells, it becomes hollow, so we need Zometa to strengthen the bone to prevent compression fractures.

One of the side effects of Zometa is that it can cause osteonecrosis (bone death) of the jaw, and I had to have my wisdom teeth removed. Years ago, I had my upper wisdom teeth removed, cos it was giving me trouble. The lower ones didn’t give me trouble so I said, “Forget it, just leave it.” So of cause, Danny volunteered to remove it for me.

So there I was, lying there in a dental chair, asking myself, suffering all the side effects of radiotherapy, and now I have to go through wisdom tooth surgery. As if I’ve not had enough to suffer! So I asked Danny, “Eh, bro, is there any other way? Can I not go though this?” He said, “Yes, you can pray.”

I said, “What’s there to lose? Ok lah, pray lah!” And so we prayed. And we did an X-ray after that. Everything was all there, all the appliances and everything. And lo and behold, the Xray showed that there was no wisdom teeth in the lower jaw. I know most people have 4 wisdom teeth, maybe some have none, but to be missing one or 2, as I understand – I’m not too sure, as I understand – is not that common.

Still I was, “Nah, I don’t care about that.” To me, as long as I didn’t have to take out the tooth, I was happy. At that point, I still wasn’t sold on prayers. Maybe it was just a coincidence – for whatever it’s worth.

I continued meeting my oncologist, asking him, “How long do I have?” I asked him. He said, not more than 6 months. I said, “Even with chemotherapy?” About 3 – 4 months, he said.

I couldn’t grasp that. It was difficult to come to terms. And even as I went through radiotherapy, I was struggling everyday, especially when I wake up, hoping that it’s just a nightmare; when I wake up, it’s all over.

As I was struggling, day after day, I went into depression, which is the typical denial, depression blah blah blah that you go through. But for 1 reason, I don’t know why, there was this specific day that I was supposed to meet my oncologist. At about 2pm, I felt this sudden surge of peace, comfort, and in fact, a little happiness. It was just overflowing. For no rhyme or reason, it just came about 2pm, as I was getting ready, dressing up to meet my oncologist. So much so that I whats-apped all my friends that, “Bros, I just feel so good suddenly! I don’t know why, it just came!”

And it was only days, or was it weeks after, that Danny revealed to me that he had fasted for 2 days for me, and he was bargaining with God, and fasted for 2 dyas, and he ended his fast at that exact same point, about 2pm thereabouts, that this surge of sensation came to me for no rhyme or reason. And I didn’t know that he was fasting for me. And when he ended the fast, I felt that sensation!

Whoa, things were getting a bit too coincidental. I was starting to buy a bit of the story, but still I wasn’t sold. As days passed by, I completed my radiotherapy, about 2 weeks plus. Getting ready for chemo, so they let me rest for a few days.

See, the mortality rate of lung cancer : Lung cancer has the highest mortality rate. If you add up breast, colorectal (colon) cancer, and prostate cancer (the top few cancers in Singapore for men and women), if you add up the mortality rate of these 3, it still doesn’t add up to lung cancer. Simply because, you understand, you can remove the prostate, the colon, the breast, but you cannot remove your lungs.

But there’s about 10% of lung cancer patients who do pretty well for some reasons, because they have this specific mutation; we call it the EGFR mutation. And it happens, only 90% of the time, in Asian ladies who never smoked in their lives. Me, first of all, I’m male. 2ndly, I’m a social smoker. I take one a day after dinner; weekends, when my friends offer me, I take it as well. I’m a light smoker, not a social smoker. But still, my oncologist was still not hopeful for me to have this mutation.

The chances of it happening for me was maybe 3-4% for me to get it. That’s why I was being primed to go for chemo. But through all the intense prayers, friends like Danny, people that I don’t even know, it turned out that, during my waiting for chemo, the results came back that I was EGFR positive. I was like, “Woah, good news!” Cos now I don’t have to undergo chemo at that time, because there’s this oral tablet that you can use to control this disease.











Just to share with you some idea – this is a CT scan – thorax – of my lungs, before treatment.

AFTER BEFORE

Every single dot there is a tumour. You can see all the mets (metastasis) there. This is just one single plane. Literally I had it in both lungs, and I had literally tens of thousands of tumour. That’s why the oncologist told me, even with chemo, at most 3-4 months.

But because of this mutation, they have this oral medication. This is what happened after 2 months of treatment. As you can see over here; this is what God can do. And that’s why I’m still here having this opportunity to share with you. As you can see over here, the difference between before and after treatment.

At that point, I said, “Well, it’s to be expected, isn’t it? The medicine is good.” I’m still not buying the story. Well, the guys prayed for me and the tumour markers started to come down. 90% of the tumours were wiped out, and the tumour markers came down to more than 90% over the next few months.

But still, you know, once you have the clinical knowledge, you know the statistics. One year survival, two year survival; having all this knowledge is not a good thing. Cos you live with the knowledge that even with all this, the cancer cells are so unstable, they keep mutating. They will overcome and become resistant to the drugs, and eventually you’re gonna run out of medication.

So living with this knowledge is a huge mental struggle, a huge mental torture. Cancer is not just about a physical struggle, it’s a huge mental torture. How do you live with no hope? How do you live with not being able to plan for the next few years? The oncologist tells you to bear with it for the next 1 – 2 months. So it’s a lot of struggles as I went through: March, then April. April was my lowest point, in deep depression, struggling even as I was recovering.

HIS ACCEPTANCE & PEACE

And one of those days, I was there in bed, struggling in the afternoon, asking God, “Why? Why do I have to go through this suffering? Why do I have to endure this hardship, this struggle? Why me?”

As I fell asleep, in my dreamy state, a vision just came, that says Hebrews 12:7-8.

Now mind you, at this time, I had not read the bible. I have no clue what’s Hebrews, I don’t even know how many chapters there are. Totally clueless.

But it says Hebrews 12:7-8, very specifically.

I didn’t think too much of it. I just continued sleeping. Then I woke up, and I said, “What’s there to lose? I’d just check it out lah!” Danny had bought me a bible; it’s still quite new. I said, “It’s ok, just try.” So I flipped to the Old Testament. Hebrews to me sounds like something ancient, so it should be in the Old Testament right? So I flipped through the Old Testament. No Hebrews there. I was so disappointed.

Then I said, “Maybe New Testament, let’s have a look!”. WOW – New Testament, there’s Hebrew’s!! It says Hebrews 12:7-8. It says, “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His children.”


I said, “WAH!! Where did that come from?” I was getting goose pimples all over my body. I said, “This can’t be, right?” I mean, what’s the chance of somebody, who has never read the bible, to have a vision of a chapter of a specific verse, that answers my question directly?

I think God called to me directly as I was there sleeping, struggling with it, asking God, “Why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to suffer this?” And God says “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His child.”

At this point, the chance of that happening is even lesser than my EGFR being positive. There’s just no way; there’s so many millions of thousands of verses in the bible, how can I just conjure up something like that?

So at that point, I was sold I said, “YOU WIN! YOU WIN!!”

Ok , I was convinced. And so from that day onwards, I started believing in my God. And the last time I heard that inner voice was the end of April. And that inner voice, same thing, in the afternoon, as I was sleeping (this time I wasn’t struggling, just going to sleep). In a dreamy state I just heard Him say, “Help others in hardship.”

It was more like a command, rather than a statement. And that’s when I embarked on this journey, helping others in hardship. And I realised that hardship is not just about being poor. In fact, I think a lot of poor people are probably happier than a lot of us here. They are so easily contented with whatever they have, they’re probably pretty happy.

Hardship can happen to rich people; it can be physical hardship, mental hardship, social, etc. And also over the last few months, I started to understand what this true joy is about. In the past, I substituted true joy with the pursuing of wealth. I thought true joy is about pursuing wealth. Why? Cos let me put it to you this way, in my death bed, I found no joy whatsoever in whatever objects I had – my Ferrari, thinking of the land I was going to buy to build my bungalow etc, having a successful business.

It brought me ZERO comfort, ZERO joy, nothing at all. Do you think I can hold onto this piece of metal and it’s going to give true joy? Nah, it’s not going to happen.

True joy comes from interaction with other people. And at a lot of times, it is a short term pride, the past. When you pursue your wealth, Chinese New Year is the best time to do it. Drive my Ferrari, show off to my relatives, show off to my friends, do my rounds, and then you thought that was true joy? You really think that those guys who sold you your Ferrari, they share their joy with you? And your relatives, wow, they share this joy with you? In truth, what you have done is just to illicit envy, jealousy, and even hatred. They are not sharing the joy with you, and what I have is that short-term pride that wow, I have something you don’t have! And I thought that was joy!

So what we have is basically a short-term pride at the expense of somebody else. And that wasn’t true joy. And I found no joy at all on my deathbed, thinking of my Ferrari – to hold on to it, sayang it?!?

True joy I discovered comes from interaction. Over the last few months I was so down. Interaction with my loved ones, my friends, my brothers in Christ, my sisters in Christ, and only then was I able to be motivated, able to be uplifted. To share your sorrow, to share your happiness – that’s true joy.

And you know what makes you smile? True joy comes from helping others in hardship, and because I’ve gone through this, I know what hardship entails. In fact, there’re some cancer patients who tell me a lot of times, people come up to them and tell them, “Stay positive. Stay positive.” Yah, right. You come in my shoes and you try to stay positive! You don’t know what you’re talking about!

But I have the licence. So I’ve been going out to meet other fellow cancer patients, to share with them, encourage them. And I know, because I’ve been through it, and it’s easier for me to talk to them.

And most importantly, I think true joy comes from knowing God. Not knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and know about God – but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with God. I think that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.

So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive, even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened, it gave me a chance to come back to God.

Few things I’d learnt though:
1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important.
2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s absolutely alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with good wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth. It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.

We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further ourselves.

Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know that wealth without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up the wealth, as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all, you need to fill it up with the wealth of God.

I think that’s about it. It’s good to share. Thanks.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Thnx for the visit Sensei:)

Assalamualaikum.. Had a visit from Zaiton Sensei today.. Right from Malaysia to Akita.We even had our raya celebration together today.. Nasi impit, kuah kacang, nasi daging, popia vietnam and a cake i made for my ayah's birthday:)

Had a walk at Senshuu Koen too:)

Today we had our last usrah too before we're gonna meet our new bulatan gembira tomorrow and of course our new akak naqibah too..

Drastic decision regarding my fb's deactivation. I'm really sorry:') insyaAllah, ada hikmahnya..(Al-Baqarah:216)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

KU LIHAT ISLAM PADA MEREKA

Assalamualaikum wbt..alhamdulillah, syukur pd Allah ats segalanya..subhanallah, sukarnya utk menggambarkan rse syukur terhadap Ilahi dek kerana diri ini terlalu kerdil di hadapanNya..entah mengapa, lepas solat maghrib dan selesai mentadabbur ayat2 Allah, ana terdetik nk buat buat satu nukilan dlm blog ana ni yg dh mcm berkurun lame x update. Berhabuk dah kan...:'(

sblom memanjangkan lagi celoteh ana, ana nk bangkitkn satu persoalan, pernah x terdetik dlm hati kita, "Ya ALLAH syukurnya jd umat Nabi Muhammad SAW, umat Islam, penganut agama yg sebenar2nya berada pd jln yg lurus." pernah x????? ke xpernah??? yg xpernah tu, meh cepat2 check hati balik.tnye diri, muhasabah diri balik, KENAPA XTERFIKIR KE ARAH TU? yg pernah terfikir tue, agak2 mase tu ape perasaan kalian eh?? nk tahuuuuu.....curious tahap gaban*

Alhamdulillah, segala puji bagi Allah, yg menetapkan kehadiran ana di bumi yg sgt asing dgn Islam ykni Jepun utk menjadikan ana bertambah2 syukur kerana dikurniakan nikmat Islam. Subhanallah, syukur yg xterkata hnya Allah sahaja yg tahu.

Sungguh bumi yg asing inilah yg telah mengajarku erti lebih berbahagia menjdi seorg Islam. Di mana2 shaja kami prgi, pasti ada sahaja mata yg liar melihat kami.Bukan kerana wajah kami seperti alien atau apa, tp mgkin kerana pakaian yg kami kenakan pada diri kami. Penampilan kami yg bertudung, berpakaian melitupi satu badan, berjubah, berbaju kurung dan sebagainya. Mula2 smpai cnie dlu, agak terkesan dgn bermcm2 mata yg melihat dan tidak kurang jua ada yg berckp tntg kami sejurus selepas melihat 'keanehan' kami seolah2 kami xtahu apa yg mereka perkatakan. Padahal kami pham je laa, whai org2 Jepun sekalian. terkantoi dh gosip2 anda sekalian.:P

Tapi smua tu xmenjdi masalah bagi kami. Lama kelamaan, diri ini jd terbiasa plak dgn pndangan2 begitu.Gosip tentang kami dan sebagainya, sudah lali bagi kami. Bahkan rase mcm femes pon ade gak:P tp tu la hakikatnye bila nk menyedapkan hati bila diri mula diperkatakan mahupun berhadapan dgn pndangan2 sinis:)

Sukar utk kita salahkn mereka, sbb mereka xtahu apa2 tntg Islam. bkan setakat Islam, kewujudan Tuhan jua seolah2 tidak pernah bermain di benak fikiran mereka. Jika ditnya, di mana roh mereka pergi selepas mati?? " jawapannya,,hmmmmm... wakaranai desu ne..~ (sy pun xtahu). mgkin pergi ke hutan agaknya. (shinrin ni itte shimau kamo).." begitulah jwpn yg dieorg akan bagi..berbeza dgn kita umat Islam.. Jelas matlamat dan tujuan hidup yg Allah SWT dh gariskan berkali2 dlm Al-Quran bukan???

Pergi mana2 je tempat kt Jepun ni, terasa malu dgn diri sendiri..Alangkah indahnya peribadi mereka. Ana sebagai seorg Islam pon blh lihat peribadi Islam tu dlm diri mereka. padahal mereka bukan Islam. pergi la mane2 tmpt kt Jepun, pusat membeli belah atau sekecil2 kedai sekalipun. Service pelanggan sgt tip top! mmg first class ana blh katakan. Xpernah walau sekalipun ana pergi mana2 tempat yg menyediakn service pelanggan kt cnie ( cnth: restoran, supermarket etc), ana dapati kekurangan dlm service mereka. Cukup dgn senyuman, bicara penuh sopan dan tertib, tunduk penuh hormat dan sebagainya.Pernah one day ni ana pergi membeli belah kt shopping mall kt cnie, lepas bayar smua n nk amek shopping bag tuh, pekerja kt kaunter tu siap p kluar dr kwsn kaunter tu, and directly bagi shopping bag tu hand to hand kt ana smbil menundukkan sedikit badan ( i guess u guys can imagine kan? ). mmg rse mcm perghhh..mantap sgt nih:) Even kalo org tue berkasta rendah sekalipun, layanan tetap akan sama. kalo kt msia, kte bole tgok kt supermarket plg cepat dan senang. xramai yg senyum kt pelanggan kan? nak2 kalo letih, mmg masam je muka dgn pelanggan kan? Sebab tu balik Malaysia, ana akan tend to compare the differences between Malaysian and Japanese. sgt lain!:( padahal negara kita negara Islam, tp imej Islam blh ke trus lihat stret pd org tuh???? mcm sukar kan? ade tu mmg ade, tp bole kira berapa ramai kan??? *tertunduk malu:(

And tahap kebersihan cnie sgt dijaga. Boleh lihat terus pada toilet dieorg. mcm hotel pon ade! sgt terjaga. hmmm... kalo nk compare dgn msia mmg sgt jauh bezanya. tp xboleh jgk nk slhkan toilet kt msia, sbb toilet msia gune air trus dr paip kan... berlainan dgn Jepun, yg semuanya automatik..hanya tekan dan air terpancut dgn automatik.. actually, Malaysian goverment bole afford utk applikasikan konsep toilet elektronik ni kt msia, cumanya, mentality rakyat Msia msih sgt mundur dlm penjagaannya. mahu shj hari ini pasang, esoknya trus rosak.

dan yg kagum jgk kt cnie, kt tempat2 awam kebanyakan nya akan disediakan bilik2 khas utk merokok. dan bilik2 merokok tu siap lengkap dgn TV LCD lagi..sgt besar wooo.. dan bilik2 merokok ni sgt bersih. rata2 org2 yg merokok, smuanya mcm patuh pada peraturan. lepas merokok buang pada tempat khas yg disediakn. dan TV LCD tu letak la mcm mane pon, xde org yg akan curi. sayangnya,kalo kt msia, ana wonder, kalo letak dlm bilik merokok, biar bilik tu terbukak semalaman, esoknya mgkin dh xde:(

actually byk lagi yg ingin ana kongsikan sekitar pengalaman ana di cnie.. seriously, through mcm2 bnde baru yg ana belajar dr budaya Jepun, ana mula mengerti betapa mereka blh jdi lebih hebat lagi andai Islam itu benar2 ada dlm jiwa mereka..reflection buat kita yg moto moto  dh dpt nikmat Islam ni, sejauh mana kita mengaplikasikan sebenar2 nya yg dikatakan konsep Islam dlm diri kita?? Waallahualam..

nota kaki: the above statements bknlah nk kata org Msia ni xbgus atau sbgainye, tp lebih kepada reflection kepada pembaca..lihat org2 disekeliling..mengajak kita utk buka minda kita lebih luas lagi, insyaAllah..

SEKIAN ITU SHAJA NUKILAN dari ana:)

vocabulary of the day
moto moto - originally

Toilet di hostel ana:)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

mampukah daku

ya Allah mampukah aku jadi seorg mukminah yg solehah...bimbangnya andai diri ini tidak mampu...:(..

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Apakah makna di sebalik mimpi itu?

Assalamualaikum wbt.. Alhamdulillah hari ni masok ramadhan ke-2 ana di bumi sakura:) alhamdulillah sgt2.. Allah bagi peluang nk rase ramadhan di bumi yg msih asing lagi buatku ini..

Cuma ingin menyatakan betapa mimpi yg ana lalui semalam sgt menakutkan buat ana:( sungguh ana rasakan sewaktu ana bangun pagi td, air mata ana mengalir di pipi dgn sangat laju.. Ana merasakan badan ana menggigil pd waktu itu..badan terasa sungguh sejuk.. Ana trus menangis di katil ana.. Takut, terlalu takut dgn mimpi yg dialami.. Allah, Allah, Allah..

Smpaikan skrg, aku terlalu ingin tahu makna disebalik mimpi itu.. Adakah Allah ingin menyampaikan sesuatu kpdku melalui wasilah mimpi itu. Allah..

Engkau sampaikan lah aku kepadaMu.. Tenangkan lah daku dgn sntiasa mengingati mu.. Jadikan seluruh kehidupan ku adalah pemberian jua ibadah ku kepadaku.. Amin ya Allah..

Kepada Mu sahaja ku pohon seluruh kekuatan..Amin ya Rabbal Alamin..

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Jalan ini pilihanku

Assalamualaikum wbt:) dh lame sgt xupdate blog nih:( sdeh nye laaa...berazam utk aktif semula menulis dlm blog..insyaAllah, kesibukan sbgai seorg pelajar jurusan kejuruteraan kimia tidak ingin lagi ku jdikan alasan utkku tidak menulis dan trus berdakwah biar dgn hanya karangan2 ku ini..insyaAllah, gambarou!!!:)

Jalan ini adalah jalan yang Nabi Adam AS dan para pewarisnya yang harus menanggung kelelahan dalam menempuhnya. Karena jalan ini pula, Nabi Nuh AS mengisi hidupnya penuh derai air mata. Disebabkan jalan ini al-Kahlil, Ibrahim AS dilemparkan kedalam api. Nabi Ismail AS harus rela ditelentangkan untuk disembelih. Nabi Yusuf As rela dijual sebagai budak dengan harga murah dan mendekam di penjara bertahun-tahun. Nabi Zakaria AS digergaji tubuhnya. Nabi Yahya AS disembelih. Nabi Ayyub AS mengulat melawan penyakit. Nabi Daud AS menangis melebihi kebiasaan manusia biasa. Nabi Isa AS dipaksa hidup dalam keterasingan. Dan Nabi Muhammad SAW sendiri harus hidup akrab dengan kemiskinan, penindasan, dan berbagai intimidasi. Sementara, apakah engkau akan bersenang lenang dalam kelalaian dan senda gurau?!

Muhasabah diri kembali..T.T
Jazakillah buat akak naqibah:) ats perkongsian:)


Friday, April 20, 2012

Bilik baru di tempat baru:)

Assalamualaikum,,skrg tepat pkul 5.24 waktu Jepun.. Alhamdulillah,dikurniakan lagi kesempatan oleh Allah SWT untuk menikmati keindahan alam ciptaan Allah di penghulu segala hari ni.. Maha Suci Allah yg telah memberikan hamba peluang utk menjejakkan kaki di bumi sakura nie..alhamdulillah,so far so good . Everything went very well.. All those Japanese people in Akita, are very generous to greet every single people they met.. Even time kte tgh berbasikal pon,dieorg akn greet jugak. Even kt supermarket sekalipun. Sgt respect dgn kebersihan kwsn persekitaran.. Mmg susah sgt2 nk nmpk sampah.. Oh, btw, ni nk habaq mai psl bilik je actually.. Melebih2 plak pdahal pagi ni dh nk p sekolah dh.. Ok, ni la bilik pink ana tue,,,:pp

Sunday, April 8, 2012

NABI MUHAMMAD SAW PUN SUKE KALER MERAH:)

assalamualaikum wbt...ya Allah..rsenye cam dh lame gak xupdate blog ni smnjak berhijrah ke Jepun nie kan...alhamdulillah hari ni punye ksempatan sket..hari nie bce satu post dlm fb nie..n hari ni dpat tahu yg Rasul junjungan, Muhammad SAW suke kaler merah rupenye..super duper happyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! sbb fiqah pon ske wrna merah...bole tgok satu bilik fiqah kt jepun nie wrna merah....xrugi nyer...sekurang2 nye kt sne dh punye kegemaran sme dgn Rasullullah SAW...happpppppppppyyy..alhamdulillah...!!!!!:)...

nnti fiqah post cmne keadaan bilik fiqah di bumi sakura nie ea....

MERAH DAN PINK SOKMO....

KIRA ALA2 GNIE LA WRNA BILIK FIQAH:)

Thursday, March 29, 2012

PERTAMA KALI DALAM SEJARAH

assalamualaikum..hari ini first time dlm hdop beli LIP BALM utk diri sendiri...mase pergi beli brg kt Giant td, singgah kt Watsons and mata berpinar2 tgok jenama lip balm mane yg ok..ade yg berpatutan n ade gak yg mahal depends on jenama la kot kan...pape pon, setelah membelek satu persatu, jd fiqah bertekad nk amek Nivea punye brand (bajet cam pndai memilih sgt kan)..pape pon, yg tue kot yg tertarik..sbb bkan tertarik dgn jenama atau perisa Strawberry lip balm tue, tp dekat harga..hahaha..al maklum la..ni first time beli bnda ALAH bijak camtue. mmg xtgok BRAND mahupun PERISA ape, tp tgok HARGA..hahaha.. mse msok je kete, tros report kt ibu, "knape LIP BALM mahal sgt ea, lip balm je pun.." n my mother said " how much?".. n i answered my mom, " RM 7.12, asal bnde pompuan cmnie pon mahal??!!".. n my mom said " *lauhing, it's normal la..even kalau beli Lip Balm jenama laen pon lebey kurang cmtu jgk.."..n i wondered, msti my mom somehow terfkir, anak i nie btol ke wanita ayu nie..haha..kalau x kerana senpai2 kt sne ckp yg Akita sgt sejuk and bagi yg mula2 nk menyesuaikan diri dgn suhu dan cuaca sejuk di sne, bibir akan merekah dan urat akan mula tegang2 n kulit akan jd kering...tp xbeli pun LOSYEN pape ke in case kulit kering kt sne nnti..sbb kt Malaysia, xpernah nk buat keje mcm tue..sah2, macho kan..pape pon, inilah pertama kali dlm sejarah, kisah sy bersama LIP BALM...ni bkan al kisah utk bersolek2..tp tujuan kesihatan..insyaAllah..

*beauty comes from a pure heart...:)

hahaha..inilah LIP BALM NIVEA, RM 7.12 d watsons tdi..=.=

p/s: teringat mse pgi Graduation Dinner KTJ last time.punye la rushing lepas balik2 meeting I-PROKHAS je, tros siap2 nk pegi dinner.. x letak pape pon kt muke, cuma hanya bawak free2 je muka nie ke bilik dinner..pape pon, stil hapy..xyah nk cantek sgt...

TRIVIA GRADUATION DINNER KTJ 03: TUMIT KASUT FIQAH PATAH!!!!:p

THE UNTOLD STORY
BLE YG MACHO DISRUH MENJADI AYU, inilah akibatnye..=.=






KE ARAH MAHABBAH RASULULLAH SAW #2

Assalamualaikum..nk share satu lagi lagu yg boleh buat hati diruntun rse rindu teramat pd Rasullullah SAW.ntah mengapa, semenjak jmpe lgu ni td, mse tgh belek2 news feed kt FB, tros lagu ni bermain2 dlm jiwa ana..syukur ya ALLAH...berkali2 dgr lagu nie, akan rse cam dekat je dgn Rasulullah SAW...hati terlupa akan lagu2 lagha yg pernah membuai benak jiwa ini..ya Allah, teruskan lah Engkau mainkan nada ini di dalam hatiku, agar cintaku kepada Rasulullah akan sentiasa bercambah dr hari ke hari dan kian bersemi dgn iradat dan kehendakMu ya Allah..AMIN..

DENGARKAN...:)

unic-Binnabil Huda




Wednesday, March 28, 2012

KE ARAH MAHABBAH RASULULLAH SAW

jom dengarkan selawat nie...seriously, sgt sedap..n mampu memberi ketenangan..especially dudok depan laptop dgn agak lame nih..kdg2 mata pon bole berpinar2 dh tgok screen...jom layan~ smbil2 berselawat ke ats junjungan besar Rasulullah SAW...moga kita beroleh shafaat Baginda di akhirat sana.Amin~



Tuesday, March 27, 2012

BERJUANGLAH!!!!

“ORANG BERJUANG SERING MENANGIS LEMAH DI SISI ALLAH, NAMUN ALLAH KUATKAN DIA DI SISI MANUSIA, BERJUANGLAH KERANA ALLAH DAN BERBAHAGIALAH HATI WALAUPUN PAYAH KERANA ITULAH JALAN KE JANNAH”


P/S: YA ALLAH, KUATKAN LAH HATI INI JUA PARA SAHABAT KU, ORANG-ORANG YG MENGIKUTIKU, UNTUK TERUS TABAH MELANGKAH KEHADAPAN, BERJUANG DEMI ISLAM, DEMI MU YA ALLAH..AMIN...

~ process packing da mula dh..walaupun terasa payah...T.T..beberapa hari lagi utk berlepas ke bumi sakura..atmosphere excited blom trase lagi...ayuh!!! bangkit berjuanglah!!!
~ buat shbt2 ALM yg xlame lgi nk amek exam A-LEVEL, truskan berusaha..saigo no saigo made, akiramenaide, gambatte ne!!!!:)


sbelom melabuhkan tirai, jom saksikan bingkisan nie:)




Wednesday, March 21, 2012

suke3!!

assalamualaikum...heee..pagi2 buta nie, sje nk post lagu2 yg suke didgr sblom tdo..haaa...org ckp kalo nk berhibur, biar yg mengingatkan kita pd Allah kan..jom,,mne taw bole jd kegemaran nnti kan...:)

memandangkan fiqah nie mmg susah sgt nk tdo.jd mmg kene ade sumting jd halwa telinga dlu.pastu..Zzzz..nyenyak la dye dgn sndirinye.:pp

open your eyes by maher zain

kalo dihayati setiap verse dlm lagu ni, mmg mmpu buat air mata ni gugur..nak2 lagi, kalo tgok vid nie sekali.mmg akan buat kita rse, Allahuakbar.Subhanallah...

JOM3..!!!.dengarkan..

kalo lagu OPEN YOUR EYES utk tdo mlm2, yg nie utk kasi booster sket waktu pagi...dengarkan..alarm clock pon gune lagu nihhh..hehehe..mmg feveret sgt version Sami Yusuf nih..:)

ASMAUL HUSNA by Sami Yusuf




p/s: surah Al-Radh:28

"(iaitu) orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka menjadi tenteram dengan mengingati Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah hati menjadi tenteram" (AL RADH:28)



peringatan buat diri ana, antum, sentiasa, selalu dan selamanya..wallahualam:)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

awesome moments captured!:)

assalamualaikum..alhamdulillah..bru sempat nk post moment2 berharga mse birthday ibu kt Santubong Resort last time..2 hari 1 malam di Ocean Suite sudah memadai utk merakam bermacam2 moment2 gembira bersma family besar..
terima kasih ya ALLAH..






aziz dah tembamm!! muahaha

nie mase kteorg nk buat survey sblom btday ibu:)

bgga pkai bju ALIS CREW..yeah..again with kak diba:)

ibu tutup mata, anak2 sibuk amek gmbr:PP..amek mse mkn seafood sblh beach je..heee..

rindu tahap pd merekaaaaaa!!!:)

again!!! ALIS CREW:)

AND AGAIN:)

SENAMAN PAGI AT THE BEACH..AROUND 7AM..THE FIRST TO ARRIVE AT THE BEACH THAT MORNING:p

MY VOLLEYBALL TEAM!!:pp.YEAH..we are the champion!

captured jgk..walopun sunburn xhbes lgi:)


little cousins n little sisters:)